They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
