the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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