Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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