no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
