Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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