The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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