The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
