i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
