you guys were way drunker than both of me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
