sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
