just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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