She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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