I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
