She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize