what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
