evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
