Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You have to summon your inner elephant
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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