her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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