i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
