Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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