WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
