And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
