Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
