Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
