I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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