ya dads aren't the best wingmen
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize