his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
