the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
