We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
