I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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