I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
