is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Duck Duck Cougar?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
