I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
