Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
