went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
