Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
