smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
