I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i drank out of a bidet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize