How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Every concussion has its silver lining
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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