fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize