Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize