why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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