Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
