so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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