"it" just moved
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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