Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize