I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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