How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
