i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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