none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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