I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
