I look better un-naked...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
