yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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