My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
