my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
