Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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