drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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