I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
