the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
