your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
