I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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