were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
